February 5, 2018
Vroom, Bang! Today’s retrospective is on the movie “Cherry 2000“. Having been poorly marketed, and generally misnamed after the largely uninteresting MacGuffin, “Cherry 2000” was a commercial failure, but I found it compellingly fun. Many fans have made comparisons to “Romancing the Stone”, so yes, this is actually a Romantic Action Comedy.
The eponymous MacGuffin, the Cherry 2000 Gynoid, played by the beautifully game Pamela Gidley, is the title character, but is largely out-of-sight. You see, the main guy’s life is pretty pedestrian. He lives the life of a suburban yuppy in Anaheim, CA with his Cherry 2000 girlfriend. He loves her, so when she experiences a critical system failure, the guy, named Sam Treadwell and played by David Andrews, sets out to find a replacement. When a suitable replacement is not immediately available in the safe area near his home, he sets out for more dangerous places where a replacement might be found. And that’s really when the movie picks up.
After a while, Sam Treadwell settles on finding a tracker to track down his replacement gynoid. That’s when we find the true hero, and possibly second-most-interesting character of the movie, E. Johnson. This tracker is supposed to be one of the best trackers out there. Oops. Not a he. Rather, E. is a woman, played by action-hero-mode Melanie Griffith. Yes, that Melanie Griffith.
It is here that the “Romancing the Stone” comparison can be truly made. E. is the action hero, and Sam is the naive urban dweller on a quest, who needs to hire help. Things get mixed up, as they always do in these movies, and these two heroes have adventures together, growing together, and generally being fun, likable human beings. As you can tell from a mile away, since E. is female, we can already see that the moral of the story is to put away your gynoids and find love with a real human being.
However, I have not made mention of the most interesting character in the movie. No, it’s not Sam, nor is it his Gynoid Cherry 2000, and E. is #2 on the list. Our most interesting character comes in the form of Tim Thomerson, as a wonderfully colorful wasteland warlord named “Lester”. Just thinking about that name is enough to elicit a giggle, and this character practically makes the entire movie work. However, when Lester personally dispatches a suspected bounty hunter, you realize that he is not a clown, but a charismatic crime boss. He is a great bad guy, and to have a good movie, you need a good bad guy.
I can easily recommend this fun movie. It may not be a classic, but it’s too fun to ignore. Brion James makes a fun, if brief appearance. Two bazookas up.
Sadly, we just finished 2017, the year that this movie takes place, and none of it happened, as far as I can tell.